I don’t usually hate anything. I feel it takes too much energy to hate something. I watched a video on youtube where a guy sits and goes on and on and on about all the things he hates.
I can’t believe that he actually liked to breathe.
However lately, there is one person in my life who drives me mad. I’m suppose to love this person, she did after all birth me. I don’t.
Love her I mean.
Everyday I pray to God to make me a better person. For him to help me be humble, forgiving, and graceful, grateful, loving of everyone.
However there are things that build up inside of me until I am about to explode. All stemming back to her.
So I thought a list, (yea a list of 1oo things 10 things that she does that grind my gears) would help calm my nerves a bit. Maybe I can get past them and MOVE ON.
1.) I hate it when you call me a hundred times a day. You ask me things like ,”What day is it?”, or “How do I turn on my computer?” If I don’t answer on the FIRST call, you call back 30 minutes later…and 30 minutes after that…and 30 minutes after that. When you do FINALLY leave a message you say, “It’s just me your crazy/neurotic/ not on her meds today Mother. I didn’t really want anything important so call me later.” However on the 100th call you say, ” I hope everyone is okay and you must be mad at me so I’m not going to call you anymore until you call me back.”
Here’s the thing. I HAVE A LIFE! I have four children and a husband, AND a house to take care of. I don’t have time to answer your calls every damn time you call me. I’ll call when I get the chance.
2.) I hate it when you play dumb. I know you are not dumb. It’s your way of having everyone in your life do things for you. You are not dumb you are lazy. I guess I should thank you for this because it has taught me to be a strong woman and to do anything and everything on my own. If you are going to live alone, you need to be able to take care of yourself. This means being able to log into your computer and on your e-mail. This means being able to move furniture around or to turn on the TV. Do you really want someone to take care of you? Well then the only way that’s going to happen is if you go to the nursing home. Welcome to being the youngest at Bingo Night.
3.) I hate the way you want to talk all the time about how you treated me as a child. I hate the excuses you give. The only thing I should hear about that time in my life was how sorry you were that you were not the mother you should have been. How you are sorry for not letting me live with my Daddy, or how you stole my childhood one slap, punch, point of a gun, choke of the neck hit with a curtain rod at a time. I don’t want to re-live it nor do I want to cuss you out and tell you what a shitty mother you are. I’m not a mean person. I’m having a hard enough time typing THIS out without feeling like a huge douche bag.
4.) I hate it when you tell me you love me, and when you call me hon. I’m NOT your hon. I will never be. You NEVER told me you loved me (and I felt it was genuine) EVER. There are a handful of people on this earth that can tell me they love me and it feels real. I only tell a few people on this earth that I LOVE THEM and mean it. If I say I love you to someone it is from the bottom of my heart and I mean it. When it comes out of my mouth to you it makes me sick. I don’t mean it and I hate having to say it.
5.) I hate the way you gossip about people. The way you tell me that if so and so was dead you would travel far to spit on their grave. Yet you don’t understand why some people don’t like you.
6.) I hate the way you are about my brother, your son. He sometimes has the deck stacked against him, yet above it all he makes it. Gracefully. Without you. He has done more than I ever could have done as far as you are concerned and you will never be able to convince me to be on any side but his.
7.) I hate the way I feel when I get off the phone with you. That is one of the reasons I don’t answer the phone when you call. You bring me down, depress me and my kids can feel it in my mood. Hello misery, I know you love company but I don’t want to come over. My kids need me to be the best I can be for them and when I’m around you I’m not the best I can be.
8.)I hate the way you try to put guilt trips on me. They don’t work. Your efforts are lost on my hard heart. Maybe long ago when I was a stupid teenager I would have fallen for your sob stories but not anymore. So waste your energy somewhere else.
9.) I hate when you call me for advice, and when I give you a few suggestions to help with whatever it is you are asking about you shoot it down. Don’t call me for help if it’s not what you want to hear/do. I don’t have the time to waste trying to find that magic number that is going to make you happy.
10.) I hate the way you always want to know how much money I have, or how much money Chris makes. If you don’t really care the STOP ASKING. It’s rude. Besides the fact that I know you have issues with money and if you know I have a dime you are going to want it. I will be glad to tell you how much money I DON’T have. It’s the same amount you screwed me and my family out of when you had to sell your house. It’s the same amount you took lout of my kids mouth and the SAME amount that I don’t have for the down payment on our new house. Incidentally, it’s the same amount you forget about, that pisses Chris off when you want to play mother-in-law of the year.
Stop and think about why I feel this way. Don’t ask me why and play dumb when I tell you. Don’t blame it on memory loss when you can remember plenty of other mundane things. Don’t cop-out. Own up to the fact that you screwed up and might not be able to make up for it. Trying to do better is a start.